as a matchstick thrown in stale water
after lightning me up with your own hands.
My skin turning bruised black. My mouth,
becoming the belly of a storm after it feeds itself
with empty houses and empty cellar doors,
and hands holding unto each tightly
but eventually letting go. The wind is too strong,
we have been grabbing this thing we called Hope
by the throat and chocking it all out.
I have imagined your body as a tree
with its trunk hollowed out for me to fit in.
A place I was not meant to lie down to, only to fill.
Only ever there until you grow everything back again.
Your heart. Your breathing lungs. Your aching.
All those parts that were only ever beating for her,
and only her. Please think of me differently,
I have loved you in ways I won’t forget.
And soon enough, you will forget me in ways
you won’t even remember. I was almost ashes
and almost nothing when when we met.
Please do not expect to burn brightly. My body,
a silent forest fire, when you have no love for me left. Kharla M. Brillo, Of forest fires and empty (via pretendingtosmilejustforyou)
1. I still sleep in your shirt every night. My mother told me I should be a bitch and ask if you wanted it back for the next girl you use. My best friend says I should burn it. There’s a bloodstain on it right over my heart. I feel like it’s proof you damaged it.
2. I was doing laundry the other day. I thought about that time I was doing it with you and tried to steal your clean shirt. You made me take one that you had worn for a while so I’d fall asleep smelling you.
3. There’s a scar on my lip from where you bit it. You stupid fuck.
4. You asked me why I was sad once. You told me you wanted to help me, that you’d always be there to listen. We haven’t spoken in weeks.
5. I died a bit when you admitted you couldn’t remember any of the small details I had told you about me.
6. When I found out you used me to cheat, I threw up. I didn’t care so much that you had hurt me. I cared more that you had hurt her and she would never know.
7. I think I loved you even though you wouldn’t let me love you. I’ve never been one for following the rules.
8. I can’t stand pictures of you and her together. I had to remove you. I don’t think you even notice.
9. I hate you for doing this to me.
10. I hope when she breaks your heart, you try to text me. I hope you pour your heart out to me, say that it was me all along. That you love me. And I will reply with, “Sorry, who is this?”Things I’ll Never Send You (via somedayiwillforgettobreathe)